Wednesday, July 1, 2020
Saturday, June 27, 2020
Stuff
life is all about how you handle plan B
your place on the fence
judgement....
have plans not goals
fanatics and obsessives never win
money cant buy me love - but it does buy a lot
its only your truth
thers no such thing as ultruism
sometimes 80% is good enough
pick your battles
stuff
dont be your own worst enemy
not all friends are created equal
ask not what your friends can do for you
relationships trump everything
dont fall out over dead grandmas tea set
never underesitmate the importance of family
one day your granwont be here anymore
frictional encounter
you are nothing more than a bunch of memories
its ok to be mediocre
dont take your privilidge for granted
its good to know where youre going but dont forget where you came from
every silver lining has a cloud
the doos-o-meter
we cannot be sure of having somethng to live for unless we are willing to die for it. CHE
nobody really cares if your miserable so you might as well be happy
dont believe in regret
never say never
everything in moderation, including moderation
introverts - don't be rude
extroverts - not everyone likes roller coasters
ther are lots of valid reasons for failing but succeed, anyway
karma isnt a thing but pay it forward anyway
your place on the fence
judgement....
have plans not goals
fanatics and obsessives never win
money cant buy me love - but it does buy a lot
its only your truth
thers no such thing as ultruism
sometimes 80% is good enough
pick your battles
stuff
dont be your own worst enemy
not all friends are created equal
ask not what your friends can do for you
relationships trump everything
dont fall out over dead grandmas tea set
never underesitmate the importance of family
one day your granwont be here anymore
frictional encounter
you are nothing more than a bunch of memories
its ok to be mediocre
dont take your privilidge for granted
its good to know where youre going but dont forget where you came from
every silver lining has a cloud
the doos-o-meter
we cannot be sure of having somethng to live for unless we are willing to die for it. CHE
nobody really cares if your miserable so you might as well be happy
dont believe in regret
never say never
everything in moderation, including moderation
introverts - don't be rude
extroverts - not everyone likes roller coasters
ther are lots of valid reasons for failing but succeed, anyway
karma isnt a thing but pay it forward anyway
Friday, June 5, 2020
The Fence
Flying a banner "# Black Lives Matter " from the Ivory Tower of my White Privilege seems a little insincere.
Neil and I moved to New Jersey 3 weeks after 911. Every single house in every single neighbourhood was adorned with American Flags and some houses literally had shrines set up in their front yards.
Every single car flew at least one flag too.
We moved into our house and consciously decided "No Flags."
We'd lived in the country literally 24 hours and flying American flags everywhere, felt insincere. We hadn't earned that right. Flying a South African flag felt very wrong too. So we had no flags. It did not mean that we didn't care deeply about the tragedy of 911or that we didn't love our homeland. If anyone read it that way it was because they never bothered to ask us. We lived there nearly 3 years and our neighbours never really accepted us. That may have had nothing to do with the flags, of course.
Put it another way...
I believe I have no real leg to stand on if I protest Climate Change but think I have the right to take long haul flights and drive a 4x4. Which I do. And I sincerely question your right to protest Climate Change when you chose to have 4,3,2 or even 1 kid. Which helps me justify my choice of vehicle and my love of juicy steaks.
No amount of paper straws or hemp shopping bags puts me vaguely in the right corner.
Tim Minchin has a song..
"In defense of the Fence" and whilst it's not a perfect explanation of my views, I know I rather be a conciderate "draad sitter" than an "insincere fanatic."
So when I don't glibbly change my profile picture to #BlackLivesMatter,
I can't stop you judging me but I'd rather you asked me why. And call me out if I Fuck Up. But not on social media platforms, please. In person is better.
Wednesday, May 27, 2020
The Sneetches
THE SNEETCHES
by Theodor Geisel (1961)
Now, the Star-Belly Sneetches
Had bellies with stars.
The Plain-Belly Sneetches
Had none upon thars.
Those stars weren't so big. They were really so small
You might think such a thing wouldn't matter at all.
But, because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches
Would brag, "We're the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches."
With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they'd snort
“We'll have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort!"
And whenever they met some, when they were out walking,
They'd hike right on past them without even talking.
When the Star-Belly children went out to play ball,
Could a Plain-Belly get in the game...? Not at all.
You could only play if your bellies had stars
And the Plain-Belly children had none upon thars.
When the Star-Belly Sneetches had frankfurter roasts
Or picnics or parties or marshmallow toasts,
They never invited the Plain-Belly Sneetches.
They left them out cold, in the dark of the beaches.
They kept them away. Never let them come near.
And that's how they treated them year after year.
Then ONE day, it seems...while the Plain-Belly Sneetches
Were moping and doping alone on the beaches,
Just sitting there wishing their bellies had stars...
A stranger zipped up in the strangest of cars!
"My friends," he announced in a voice clear and keen,
"My name is Sylvester McMonkey McBean.
And I've heard of your troubles. I've heard you're unhappy.
But I can fix that. I'm the Fix-it-Up Chappie.
I've come here to help you. I have what you need.
And my prices are low. And I work at great speed.
And my work is one hundred per cent guaranteed!"
Then, quickly, Sylvester McMonkey McBean
Put together a very peculiar machine.
And he said, "You want stars like a Star-Belly Sneetch...?
My friends, you can have them for three dollars each!”
“Just pay me your money and hop right aboard!"
So they clambered inside. Then the big machine roared
And it clonked. And it bonked. And it jerked. And it berked
And it bopped them about. But the thing really worked!
When the Plain-Belly Sneetches popped out, they had stars!
They actually did. They had stars upon thars!
Then they yelled at the ones who had stars from the start,
"We're exactly like you! You can't tell us apart.
We're all just the same, now, you snooty old smarties!
And now we can go to your frankfurter parties."
"Good grief!" groaned the ones who had stars at the first.
"We're still the best Sneetches and they are the worst.
But, now, how in the world will we know," they all frowned,
"If which kind is what, or the other way round?"
Then up came McBean with a very sly wink
And he said, "Things are not quite as bad as you think.
So you don't know who's who. That’s perfectly true.
But come with me, friends. Do you know what I'll do?
I'll make you, again, the best Sneetches on beaches
And all it will cost you is ten dollars eaches.”
Belly stars are no longer in style," said McBean.
"What you need is a trip through my Star-Off machine.
This wondrous contraption will take off your stars
So you won't look like Sneetches who have them on thars."
And that handy machine
Working very precisely
Removed all the stars from their tummies quite nicely.
Then, with snoots in the air, they paraded about
And they opened their beaks and they let out a shout,
"We know who is who! Now there isn't a doubt.
The best kind of Sneetches are Sneetches without!"
Then, of course, those with stars all got frightfully mad.
To be wearing a star now was frightfully bad.
Then, of course, old Sylvester McMonkey McBean
Invited them into his Star-Off Machine.
Then, of course from then on, as you probably guess,
Things really got into a horrible mess.
All the rest of that day, on those wild screaming beaches,
The Fix-it-Up Chappie kept fixing up Sneetches.
Off again! On again!
In again! Out again!
Through the machines they raced round and about again,
Changing their stars every minute or two.
They kept paying money. They kept running through
Until neither the Plain nor the Star-Bellies knew
Whether this one was that one...or that one was this one
Or which one was what one...or what one was who.
Then, when every last cent
Of their money was spent,
The Fix-it-Up Chappie packed up
And he went.
And he laughed as he drove
In his car up the beach,
"They never will learn.
No. You can't teach a Sneetch!"
But McBean was quite wrong. I'm quite happy to say
The Sneetches got really quite smart on that day,
The day they decided that Sneetches are Sneetches
And no kind of Sneetch is the best on the beaches.
That day, all the Sneetches forgot about stars
And whether they had one, or not, upon thars.
The End.
by Theodor Geisel (1961)
Now, the Star-Belly Sneetches
Had bellies with stars.
The Plain-Belly Sneetches
Had none upon thars.
Those stars weren't so big. They were really so small
You might think such a thing wouldn't matter at all.
But, because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches
Would brag, "We're the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches."
With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they'd snort
“We'll have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort!"
And whenever they met some, when they were out walking,
They'd hike right on past them without even talking.
When the Star-Belly children went out to play ball,
Could a Plain-Belly get in the game...? Not at all.
You could only play if your bellies had stars
And the Plain-Belly children had none upon thars.
When the Star-Belly Sneetches had frankfurter roasts
Or picnics or parties or marshmallow toasts,
They never invited the Plain-Belly Sneetches.
They left them out cold, in the dark of the beaches.
They kept them away. Never let them come near.
And that's how they treated them year after year.
Then ONE day, it seems...while the Plain-Belly Sneetches
Were moping and doping alone on the beaches,
Just sitting there wishing their bellies had stars...
A stranger zipped up in the strangest of cars!
"My friends," he announced in a voice clear and keen,
"My name is Sylvester McMonkey McBean.
And I've heard of your troubles. I've heard you're unhappy.
But I can fix that. I'm the Fix-it-Up Chappie.
I've come here to help you. I have what you need.
And my prices are low. And I work at great speed.
And my work is one hundred per cent guaranteed!"
Then, quickly, Sylvester McMonkey McBean
Put together a very peculiar machine.
And he said, "You want stars like a Star-Belly Sneetch...?
My friends, you can have them for three dollars each!”
“Just pay me your money and hop right aboard!"
So they clambered inside. Then the big machine roared
And it clonked. And it bonked. And it jerked. And it berked
And it bopped them about. But the thing really worked!
When the Plain-Belly Sneetches popped out, they had stars!
They actually did. They had stars upon thars!
Then they yelled at the ones who had stars from the start,
"We're exactly like you! You can't tell us apart.
We're all just the same, now, you snooty old smarties!
And now we can go to your frankfurter parties."
"Good grief!" groaned the ones who had stars at the first.
"We're still the best Sneetches and they are the worst.
But, now, how in the world will we know," they all frowned,
"If which kind is what, or the other way round?"
Then up came McBean with a very sly wink
And he said, "Things are not quite as bad as you think.
So you don't know who's who. That’s perfectly true.
But come with me, friends. Do you know what I'll do?
I'll make you, again, the best Sneetches on beaches
And all it will cost you is ten dollars eaches.”
Belly stars are no longer in style," said McBean.
"What you need is a trip through my Star-Off machine.
This wondrous contraption will take off your stars
So you won't look like Sneetches who have them on thars."
And that handy machine
Working very precisely
Removed all the stars from their tummies quite nicely.
Then, with snoots in the air, they paraded about
And they opened their beaks and they let out a shout,
"We know who is who! Now there isn't a doubt.
The best kind of Sneetches are Sneetches without!"
Then, of course, those with stars all got frightfully mad.
To be wearing a star now was frightfully bad.
Then, of course, old Sylvester McMonkey McBean
Invited them into his Star-Off Machine.
Then, of course from then on, as you probably guess,
Things really got into a horrible mess.
All the rest of that day, on those wild screaming beaches,
The Fix-it-Up Chappie kept fixing up Sneetches.
Off again! On again!
In again! Out again!
Through the machines they raced round and about again,
Changing their stars every minute or two.
They kept paying money. They kept running through
Until neither the Plain nor the Star-Bellies knew
Whether this one was that one...or that one was this one
Or which one was what one...or what one was who.
Then, when every last cent
Of their money was spent,
The Fix-it-Up Chappie packed up
And he went.
And he laughed as he drove
In his car up the beach,
"They never will learn.
No. You can't teach a Sneetch!"
But McBean was quite wrong. I'm quite happy to say
The Sneetches got really quite smart on that day,
The day they decided that Sneetches are Sneetches
And no kind of Sneetch is the best on the beaches.
That day, all the Sneetches forgot about stars
And whether they had one, or not, upon thars.
The End.
Wednesday, May 20, 2020
My Covid Musings
This is not Spanish Flu and it's not 1918!!
I keep reading articles comparing this pandemic with past pandemics like Spanish Flu of 1918, death rates by say Malaria, Natural disasters like Tsunamis or Floods or Wars and Famine and then pronounce the Coronavirus as not so bad!
To me this is a meaningless exercise! This is the 21st century!
The world as we knew it, on say January 1 2020, is the world we have as our context for dealing with this pandemic. There may have been a great deal wrong with that world, in your or my opinion but of course it has informed our response.
-Over 7 billion people in the world.
-Great inequality between rich and poor.
-Weak political leadership and populist governments.
-Limited Natural resources.
-World economy based on consumption.
-Global Trade.
-Global travel and tourism.
-Unlimited and instant access to information, news and social media.
Life on the road has prepared us for Life in Lockdown
It's an irony but in many ways a life on the road, living out if a suitcase and being "homeless" for the last 12 years has prepared us well for lockdown...
1. We are comfortable living in close quarters together 24/7.
2. We have a way of being that allows us to be in the same space but have our own space.
3. We have survived each others annoying habits for the last 12 years.
4.We can shop in advance and are quite good at planning meals and we have lots of recipes that don't call for outlandish ingredients.
5. We can improvise in the kitchen if we are missing ingredients.
6. Neil's tendancy to overshop and my tendancy to overplan, means we've got enough wine to outlast this.
7. We have survived not getting to the hairdresser or the beautician even when you can all see it's necessary.
8. We don't have gel nails that need regular attention and we only get pedicures, facials and massages when it's convenient. ( Phuket )
9. Being seen and being fancy or moving in "those" circles doesn't count for much.
8. We have consulted our doctor and our doctor friends via what's app or email before and survived.
9. Our international medical insurance doesn't limit us to a month by month supply of chronic medicines so we have everything we need.
10. We can entertain ourselves for hours on end with music, podcasts, TV series and reading.
11. When you've spent as many hours as we have on planes or on road trips, you know you CAN sit it out without being restless.
11. We are used to keeping in touch with family and friends whom we don't see regularily.
12. Who cares what you drive?
13. We don't miss routines like gym or book club because we haven't had those routines for years now.
14. We don't miss work or the office.
15. Exercise is optional.
16. We do things remotely and we're highly adaptable.
Monday, May 18, 2020
Golly Gosh Good Grammar
Paraprodsdokians
The first time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them.)
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.... but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up.... we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify...." I answered, "a doctor."
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
Spread the Laughter,
Let's Be Happy
While We're here!
Covid Playlist Lyrics
Maroon 5 Memories
https://g.co/kgs/j5j2z4
Coronavirus Blues – sung to the tune of Establishment Blues (Rodrigues) by Holly Jones 16 May 2020
Sprays and sanitizers, YouTube exercises
Online teach and game-play, dog and walkers highway
Booze and Cigs prevention, army intervention
Zoom, Houseparty, Face-time, try to dodge cop-fine
Bootlegging homemade beer
Conspiracy theory, people getting weary
More people are infected, Trump to get elected
Inject with disinfectant, starving are expectant
Wait for relief that’s less
Woke up this morning with ambition in my head
Remembered the status and got back into bed
Turned on my phone to read about the news
But all I saw was the Coronavirus Blues
Gone are scrums or head butts, sportsmen taking pay cuts
Russian rolette high stakes, no more hugs or hand shakes
Nowhere to go worship, Ramaposa’s mask slip
Learning by sign to Bless
Economy is waining, people are complaining
No Zol cos saliva, whole worlds an adviser
Poor are living filthy, all the rich are guilty
Can you pass the temperature test
State is thin on detail, when to open retail
please protect the people, Coronavirus lethal
Cyril wants to linger, DA points a finger
Can you get your UIF
It’s a time-thing and an educated guess,
Well frankly, it’s too much stress
Saturday, May 16, 2020
Fun Stuff
REVOLTING RHYMES
https://www.monologues.co.uk/Childrens_Favourites/Three_Little_Pigs.htm
https://www.monologues.co.uk/Childrens_Favourites/Three_Little_Pigs.htm
https://www.monologues.co.uk/Childrens_Favourites/Red_Riding_Hood.htm
https://www.monologues.co.uk/Childrens_Favourites/Goldilocks.htm
BRENDA'S BEAVER
Brenda'sBeaver https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DtZP5wQkBvVg&ved=2ahUKEwit1L7tzb3pAhWIilwKHRsSBmAQwqsBMAB6BAgGEAM&usg=AOvVaw01EL_msHQLgUJYbwmomvDf
Where do I begin?
ZEN DOGS
I have had this blog address for years but now I have decided to use it for my musings and thoughts. I like to write to get clarity on things but I usually don't send it to anyone.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)